I need to not kill my family. My anger has been constant since I came back home for break. I want to kill my family and I can't. I need to get away. I need a break from my family. I want to sleep for long periods of time without judgement. I want to be warm. I want to change the temperature without it affecting everything. I'm going on this new diet/lifestyle and because my family aren't all doing it, they eat what they want and I have to take it. I've been only drinking water constantly. I'm staying farrrr away from sweets, all other foods are on the table until I start working again. However, I can only have those foods if I portion them. I've only had one meal a day since the year started and water along with it. I'm sick of the jokes about my weight and my sleeping and everything else. I'm just so tired of all of this shit. I miss my bubble when I'm in school. I miss it so much. I miss the fact that I could do whatever I wanted while not going crazy at the same time. I love my family, but I need space from them. A LOT OF SPACE. I wanna go back to isolating myself and contacting them whenever. My nephew seems to say whatever he wants to and no one tells him otherwise. He says offensive things and he's spoiled rotten and he pisses me off. He calls me fat and slow and anything else he gets away with. I'm pissed off and ready to go anywhere except here. Everyone here doesn't give a shit about anything. I'm done. I'm done yelling, fighting, and everything else. I'm not going to continue to yell or fuss anymore because all I'll get is a response that's sarcastic or just a remark and I'm done. They can do whatever they want because I'm also done caring. I'm not gonna yell about them closing a god damn door that's not that FUCKING hard to close. Or the screen door that doesn't close on it's own. I'm done. I'm no longer helping with anything else that doesn't apply to me or I'm not being paid for. Everyone is on their own. They can go FUCK THEMSELVES because I'm done.
Signing Off
Lizzie
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